Fourth Quarter's Mine!
The youths on the Internet have started something called The Winter Arc Challenge. It’s simple, really: One spends the coldest, darkest 90 days of the year—the winter months—focused on personal transformation. Intentions range from bettering one’s physical health and saving money, to learning a new skill, or getting comfortable dining out alone. Most rededicate themselves to their fitness goals, while others choose to level up on their side-hustle; or both. One dude on Tik Tok cut off his braids, to reduce time coifing his hair in the morning, so he can spend more concentrated time on his content. That’s a lot. Regardless, and despite the fact it’s actually fall, the sentiment is the same: Fourth Quarter’s Ours!
Me? I’m taking the next 90 days to get back on my feet!
Supposedly, #WinterArc success is based on four elements:
Setting Goals
Creating a Routine
Holding Yourself Accountable
Being Resilient
So sayeth Tik Tok and ChatGPT; but, sure...let’s play.
GOALS
This part is rather easy, as I’m currently in midlife crisis and desperately want out; my biggest struggles are always top of mind. There are three things that, once accomplished, will make me feel a hellavulot better:
Get at fucking job. Preferably hybrid work, for caregiver-reasons
Lose 10 pounds (down from a current 195)
Write a short story
ROUTINE
Create a “disciplined daily schedule,” they say. One woman on Instagram said she’s going start every day at 4am with a workout and “be productive” until 9/10pm. For the next three months. Good luck, sweetie. I have trouble pulling myself out of bed before noon, because what is life and why is anything and what’s the point...? But, in the spirit of #WinterArc, I can push for a 7am rise and shine. I created this schedule on my Notion dashboard at the top of the year, when I thought 2024 was gonna be “my year.” Methinks it can still work now.
I’ll do my best.
ACCOUNTABILITY
Girl. You’re asking a lot.
This is where things get tricky. You see, I make plans. Bore someone else with your questions about execution. I’ll set myself up for success with a detailed outline of what I need to do, then I’ll get overwhelmed and anxious and start avoiding the work. Best Friend wants to—nay, has promised to—kick me square in the what’s-its if, six months from now, I pop up (again) with some supposed newfound inspiration to pen a tale about this caregiver experience without having written a single scene or piece of dialogue. And she’ll do it, too; her students and co-faculty are terrified of her. As are my what’s-its.
My dad used to say, “When you know what needs to be done, just commit yourself to the work. Put your mind to it. You can do anything you put your mind to.” I’m not sure where my sort-of Bart Simpson work ethic came from, and—believe it or not— I’m much better than I used to be at heeding the call of labor, but as Pray Tell once encouraged, [it’s time to] PULL UP!
My Therapist called me out recently on my tendency to craft valid reasons for not leaning into the hard stuff. There’s a cycle of being afraid of the work, validating that fear with circumstance, and then excusing myself because the circumstances are just “too much to deal,” which, understandably, they are. Then, I lean into the excuse—shit, I get good and comfortable in it—until my thoughts veer back to the work I should be doing. Then I get afraid of the work again and...the cycle continues.
We humans put ourselves through it, don’t we?! Jesus.
I’ve definitely got Therapist and Best Friend holding me accountable; I appreciate how neither of them hold no punches, tough as they may be to receive. However, I do recognize I need to start holding myself more accountable as well. I’m not quite sure, just yet, how to do that. How to, for example, say “yes” getting up at 7am tomorrow, after I’ve stayed up very late tonight enjoying myself with libations and the written word. Like that woman who’s supposed to get up at 4am tomorrow…Good luck, sweetie.
Baby steps. I’ll get there.
BEING RESILIENT
This, thankfully, like goals, is another easy one. Tooting my horn, the fact that I’m still standing and marching forward, after the madness of the last three years, is testament to my resilience. Therapist has worked all year on getting me to see and understand my capacity for resilience, and I’m finally at a point where I can say, “I am a resilient person.”
Winter is coming, and it can and will try its damnedest to throw me off track, but my bounce-back is strong, if not lethal. It’s just taking me longer, this time, to get back up. But I will. All in good time.
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I’m keen to adopt a #WinterArc-focussed mindset for the next 90-180 days. Really, until my birthday in May 2025, when I hope to be comfortably and fully back on my feet.
Now, I say all this on the backend of a great day (I was able to get mom to shower and venture outside for the first time in a long time), typing this with a head full of weed and a belly full of Carl’s Jr. and bourbon, while I hornily watch True Blood for the umpteenth time. But God’s still listening. And I’m so seriously, you guys...
Fourth Quarter’s Mine!
