Will’s Window: Vol. 2

When I was one of the youths, there was a public service ad that played during Saturday morning cartoons, aimed at getting us kids to help save the planet by way of recycling. To this day, I sing aloud, “Recycle, Reduce, Reuse...,” whenever I throw a can, bottle, or box into one of the now four recycling bins I’ve posted in our backyard: cardboard; plastic; aluminum; glass. Captain Planet and ‘nem were my first influencers.

Last week, I sang the recycle song all the way to my local recycling center, joking to myself about how many plastic bottles of water my mom goes through in six months; refillable containers are too heavy for her to hold. “Ugh! Way to save the environment, mom,” I eye-rolled to myself! That was until I heaved my own Lannister-rivaling cache of empty wine and booze bottles onto the scale for shekels on the dollar. Shame. Also, “Ugh! Way to keep your body healthy, Will!”

Bestie did not find this picture-post to my Instagram story amusing. Depression is real, but to a therapist-best-friend this is a “red flag.” And she’s right; I won’t deny it. Seeing all the bottles I’ve emptied these last six months was startling. I knew I was drinking a lot, but filling those trashcans gagged the fuck outta me. 750ml evidence, in abundance, that I am not okay.

It is imperative I curb my drinking.

My immediate solution is to lean into my 75-Soft Challenge Rules, which include drinking only on social occasions. I do most of my imbibing these days while couch-rotting and watching television, lamenting my circumstances. Drinking socially will significantly decrease my alcohol intake, as my only social outlets nowadays are my weekly bowling league and the occasional catch-up with a friend. My lack of a social life may very well be my saving grace.

Having tested the social-drinking-only rule this week, I can report, with a bit of pride, that my scale declared my weight 191 lbs. on Saturday; down from the 195/196 lbs I’ve been hovering around for eons. Substituting alcohol for water or tea while home alone is affecting my desire-to-be-naked-on-the-beach-this-summer self in a way I cannot deny.

Can’t nothin’ motivate a gay man like the lure of being physically attractive. Ain’t that some shit?! We need help. But that’s an essay for another day.

Message received. And now I push forward. Keep going, I will.

Wish me luck, friends. :)
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Blessings.